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There are accounts, in all four Gospels, of Jesus showing love and compassion for people, especially those who were poor and oppressed. He also visited and healed the sick, welcomed strangers, touched lepers, raised up women, and reached out to children. As members of his Church here on earth, we must imitate his example and demonstrate that same love and compassion to others. Among the many people in our world today who suffer are those who often go unnoticed, and that’s why we need to highlight in a particular way the victims of domestic and family violence. Some of you might be wondering why that is since it doesn’t really seem to be that big a problem, but it is a problem, and a much bigger problem than we realise because it often occurs behind closed doors, where we tend not to see it.As sons and daughters of God we need to make the values of Love & Compassion priorities in our lives. In the Book of Exodus, we are reminded of the dignity of every single person, especially the most vulnerable and seemingly insignificant, ‘You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry’. All three synoptic Gospels contain the command to love God and our neighbours as we love ourselves - words, with which we are familiar, but how do we respond to the challenge they pose, when either, we don’t want to respond at all, or when our first impulse is to anger, impatience, or even ridicule? Jesus’ challenge to love others as we love ourselves calls us to be people of integrity, wholeness, justice and mercy. But what happens when love gets twisted, and used as an excuse by someone to control, intimidate, or harm another, whilst still claiming to love them? What happens to our families, friends, neighbours, and coworkers who suspect that someone they care about is being abused, or is an abuser? Although victims of abuse live in a world of isolation, fear, and shame, their effects are far reaching and not only impact the people in those relationships, but everyone who cares about them as well. And that is why we need, as a church, to highlight the insidious issue of domestic and family violence. Whenever and wherever demeaning, stalking, possessiveness, isolation from family and friends, name calling, denying access to finances, making threats, or any other form of physical or sexual violence occurs, life is neither affirmed nor respected. And although most of these instances occur behind closed doors, we know that even among members of our own faith communities, there are women, children, and men, who are being abused physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually by those who say they love them. According to the World Health Organisation, 1 in 3 women will experience physical and or sexual abuse by an intimate partner at some point in their life, and nearly 1 in 6 men will experience intimate partner violence during theirs, not to mention how many children are abused each and every day. We might think this occurs only in certain cultures or among lower socio-economic classes, but this kind of violence and abuse cuts across all social, economic and religious groups, and all manner of relationships. Children witnessing or experiencing abuse in the home are equally victimized and traumatised and can often grow up to marry an abuser or become abusers themselves - and so the cycle continues.
So, if there’s anyone here who is a victim, or suspects that they are a victim of domestic and family violence or of some form of abuse, please know that you are not alone, you are not irrational, it is not your fault, and you deserve to be safe. No one is expected to live with abuse, and you do not have to suffer in silence. And if there’s anyone here who has come to the realization that they might be an abuser, help is available for you too. Violence against women, children or men, inside or outside the home, is never justified and whilst violence in any form is sinful, some fail to realise it can also often be a crime as well. What you need to know from the Church’s perspective is that no one is expected to stay in an abusive marriage or relationship. Today we want all victims to know that we stand in support of you and of anyone who is suffering or secretly carrying the stigma of abuse, or who feels isolated, alone, and ashamed, as a consequence.
Let us, as sisters and brothers of Jesus, strive to teach our children, about the elements of healthy relationships that respect the dignity of all people. Let us also strive to teach our young people about respect and healthy dating. Let all people, especially men, embrace the potential they have to bring about positive change by not committing, condoning, or remaining silent about violence of any kind against anyone.
As Jesus expressed his compassion for the poor and oppressed, including the women of his time, may we too be seen as compassionate people ready to help victims of domestic and family violence to free themselves from their pain and suffering. May everyone who lives in darkness and who comes to our parish find light and peace, and may those living in despair, find joy and hope. May everyone who feels that God has abandoned them discover among us, the love and compassion of Jesus and may they come to know that they do not need to carry their secrets alone, any longer.
